Tears and Trust

“Have you ever been in a very dark place? A place where there’s no light and no hope?” my doctor asked me.

It was a bit of role reversal and I didn’t mind at all. I’ve known “Dr. Q.,” as my husband and I affectionately refer to her, for many years. She’s our family’s general practitioner, and we have a relationship that’s very old-fashioned and different from today’s impersonal, insurance and time-driven medical care. She’s “Dr. Q” because my husband thinks she’s a character from a James Bond movie — petite, exotically beautiful, whip-smart and mysterious. And like some lead characters in Bond movies, you can trust her with your life.

Dr. Q’s mother had passed away recently. I knew she was in pain from that loss — and she was at work– against all odds, because doctors can rarely afford to take a sick day.  She said staying in bed wouldn’t be worth the horrendous schedule it would create for her later.

“Yes. I have been in such a place. Recently, in fact. There is only one thing that brings me out of it. It’s a daily discipline of reading the Bible and meditating on His word. Last week I was reading Mark 10, where the children came to Jesus and the disciples wanted to shoo them away. Jesus told them to let the little children come to Him. In fact, He swept the youngsters into his arms, put His hands on them, and blessed them. I think of this sometimes, and I imagine I’m a child resting in His arms.”

Then Dr. Q burst into tears. I knew that she and her family were all believers from the Phillipines. “Yes, I’ve done that too. I need to do it more often. In fact, not only should I rest in His arms, I need to put my head down and let Him carry some of this weight.” With a few graceful swipes of a tissue under her glasses, she let through some more tears. “Thank you so much. You were the person I needed to see today.”

Then there were no more tears. There was a feeling of joy and peace from what the Lord can offer us, right when we need it. When we let Him, He will guide us through our days, through tears to places and people that give us comfort and love. Dr. Q. has seen me though many dark places; I was glad to remind her of the hope and trust we find in Him. Even through our tears.

Blessings and kind regards to you all.